I'll never understand where the idea that smaller is better came from. I
just know that I internalized it as a young girl and have fought against it
ever since. I felt like everything about me was too big. My siblings
teased me about my "big feet". Turns out, they are the most typical - or
popular - size feet for women. My big butt - everyone in my family said I
was blessed with "alot of personality." That was code for a big butt. I
did everything to try to minimize the appearance of that and my big thighs.
Then - out of nowhere - came J.Lo. God love Jennifer Lopez. She made it
fashionable to have curves, as did Queen Latifah and Laila Ali and some
other notable celebrities. I was glad to have curves - for the first time
in my life. What a sad commentary on my skewed self-inventory. I accepted
myself once I saw others who were "like me." Mind you, I was in my late
20's or early 30's when this revealation hit! I'm glad that there are some
other body types out there for our younger girls now. I look back at
pictures of myself when I was in high school - and I don't know what I
thought about me was big. I would pay top dollar right now for that body!
On second thought, no I wouldn't. I'm happy where I am. I've had 2
children - and it shows - but it should. I've had lots of laughs - and
that shows too - in my "laugh lines." Raising my children is showing up in
my "worry lines" - as it should. I'm okay with that - now. Now that I'm
in my 40's. But what about our young girls. What are we feeding them -
literally and figuratively? I can see the potential detrimental affects of
advertising on my daughters, but I'm unable to stop the New York and LA ad
agencies that are perpetuating this garbage. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed
with it - like I can't really do anything about it or make a difference.
Silly me. Of course I can make a difference - we all can. We can
counteract the damage that is being done by simply affirming our girls
worth - commenting in a positive way about her mind and her
accomplishments. We can talk about hopes and dreams - and support them and
not deflate them. We, each one of us, can help raise self-awareness,
thereby raising self-esteem in our young girls today. Today - not tomorrow
- not in some political debate about whether or not free speech includes
driving young girls to anorexia or not. Concretely everyday -
systematically changing our attitudes about ourselves and our own bodies to
include our own accomplishment and to quit talking about how we need to go
on a diet or we sure wish we could afford plastic surgery. Our girls are
listening - what are they hearing from us??? Even if your not in the place
where you believe it yet - talk the talk. Hear yourself say it. Do it for
the girls that are coming in our wake. You may not believe it now, just
keep on trying, just fake it till you make it. Soon enough, you won't just
be talking the talk - you'll be walking the walk. And so will our girls!!